3.A successful child is raised by families who get along
Regardless of whether your child is raised by both parents, but who are always arguing, or by divorced parents, the way adults act around him and interact with one another is a strong influence on his future success. Studies show that most children who grew up in conflictual households (with parents who argue a lot, divorced or still married) don’t have the same success in life. Robert Hughes Jr., a professor and the head of Human and Community Development Department at The University of Illinois, noticed, in his research, that children coming from non-conflictual single parent households were more successful than children raised by both parents, but who were arguing a lot.
So the idea of not getting a divorce just for the sake of a child – that many parents support – can have long-lasting negative consequences. If domestic conflicts leading to divorce will inevitably affect the child, than the shorter the timeframe for this, the better.
Studies have also shown that, after a divorce, if the father keeps being in contact with the child, and the conflict between him and the mother is kept to a minimum, the child will have a balanced upbringing. Other studies show that adults over the age of 20, coming from divorced families, where the conflict kept on occurring even after the separation, will remember the time, even 10 or 15 years later.
4.Successful children have learned math from a young age
A 2007 study performed on 35000 children in the USA, Canada and the UK showed that learning math skills from an early age was a long-term advantage for children. Now, we’re not talking about a three year old learning how to add or subtract. The study refers to the fact that even before finishing kindergarten, a child should have minimal knowledge about numbers and their order up to 15 or 20, about grouping things by shapes and sizes, and other basic mathematical concepts.
5.Successful kids have parents who are less stressed
It almost doesn’t matter how many hours a mother spends with her child between the ages of 3-11 years old. Because it’s not the amount of time that matters, it’s its quality. A child won’t be as affected by the fact that his mother works a lot and spends less time with him, as he will be by a mother who spends a lot of hours with him and is stressed, yells or is overprotective. It’s a trap to think that spending more hours with the child is beneficial, if the atmosphere is not constructive.
Sociologist Kei Nomaguchi declared for Washington Post that a mother worried that she doesn’t spend enough time with her child who is then stressed, while spending time with him, about all the work she’s missing, will do more harm than good.
Parent’s emotions, especially mother’s, are contagious. That means that any of the parents’ states are quickly transmitted to the child: a mother’s nervousness will quickly become the child’s, a mother’s frustration will become the child’s frustration, a father’s anger will become the child’s anger, parents’ lack of patience will become the child’s.
6. Mothers of successful children work
Even if they’re employed or in business for themselves, mothers of successful children make their own money. A study by Harvard Business School put the spotlight on the many advantages that kids with financially independent mothers have.
The study showed that girls whose moms worked are more conscientious in school, more responsible with their careers and have better jobs.
The same study showed that boys whose mothers work (or worked when they were growing up) tend to take more responsibility around the house (as husbands) and with their own children (as fathers). Because they were raised in a household where their mother wouldn’t do everything and where they learned, by observation, that the man of the house also had to take on some responsibility. And they either picked up this good character trait from their fathers or, on the contrary, noticed how an absent father puts a lot of pressure on a woman’s shoulders, and doesn’t want the same thing for his partner.
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