When we see a child who talks back and who doesn’t do exactly what his parents say, we think he’s a rebellious kid or one who doesn’t listen. Thus, we tend to consider that such a behavior belongs to a child who isn’t well educated.

But things aren’t always what they seem, because talking back to parents is a positive thing for the development of the child’s personality. Of course, there has to be a balance, a set of rules and values that the entire family must follow so that things don’t get out of control.

Psychology specialists say that this will help the children turn into future adults who will have a better chance to succeed in life. Though we parents have a hard time facing these kinds of moments, which are not just a few, we have to keep calm, to learn how to behave and how to react in these situations.

When they talk back, we tend to scold them, to get angry at them, to think that they don’t listen to us, that we didn’t educate them well etc., but psychologists recommend that we should look at these moments as opportunities for children to develop their critical thinking. Kids nowadays aren’t as obedient as we or our parents were.

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Times have changed, even when they’re little they don’t accept to do what they’re told. They learn to say “No”.

Therefore, we as parents should change the way we behave with them: we can’t just enforce our ways anymore, we can’t make them do everything we want, when we want. We need to explain things to today’s children, we need to talk openly with them, to tell them why it’s good to do something, why it isn’t good to do something else etc.

They feel the need to have some control over their own lives, even when they’re little they try to not be completely obedient, they need to know it’s ok to refuse or to simply say “No” when they see fit. We as parents should be happy about this, because these children will develop according to their personality, they’ll learn how to be attentive, mainly to them and their own needs, and they’ll follow their own path in life. Thus, they show us that they’re also independent, that they have their own ideas, that they want to learn how to make decisions which will help them in the future.

As we’ve said before, this kind of behavior towards our children mustn’t mean that we’ll accept everything from them, that we won’t set some limits, that we’ll tolerate a violent and aggressive behavior, an inappropriate language etc.

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Our reaction and the way we act when we see our child’s reaction are very important.

Here’s what you need to do if you want to raise an exceptional kid.

  • We need to practice self-control so that we won’t answer in an exaggerated manner.
  • Before we answer, we need to count to ten in order to calm ourselves. If we feel that the situation is beyond our control, we can leave the room, calm down and then come back with a calm response.
  • We need to understand the fact that we’re not in a situation where we always have to be right and we have to learn how to communicate and listen to everything the child has to say.
  • We need to be able to negotiate so that we can find the best solution to the child’s request.
  • We need to know how to maintain our authority in front of the child without harming their own personality, without making them feel inferior and submissive.

So we need a lot of finesse, awareness and we need to take responsibility for our actions and deeds. Above all, we have to remember that it’s our responsibility if we raise a child who will become an independent and prepared adult or the opposite. The decision is completely ours!