You know your most dangerous enemies: exhaustion, stress, fear, emotions, and hormones. You control some, and others you don’t. And even when you feel like you have everything under control, your child’s emotions also come into play, as well as his inability to express himself.
And it’s easy to notice when that happens: in less than half an hour, he can turn from a happy, cheerful child, into a tiny, screaming, kicking, unstoppable monster.
As for your own moments, they’re also easy to stop: you don’t have any patience, you raise your voice, tiny nervous wrinkles cross your forehead, you force the child to stop playing in order to rush home. You wonder whether you made the right choice when you decided to vaccinate or not to vaccinate him, when you cooked him some chicken from the store and you wondered if it wouldn’t be healthier for him to become vegetarian, when chicken are pumped with so many growth hormones.
So it’s only normal to end up, at least once a week, in a position where you wonder whether you did the right thing or if you could be a better parent.
Well, I have news for you. Stress, questions, fears – they’re all normal. In fact, they are the ones pushing us to know more, to read more, to learn whatever there is to learn from parenting, nutritionists and health specialists.
Here is one argument that should make you feel more at ease: the fact that you want to be a better parent, that you want to learn, that you really care and are strong enough to admit that you don’t know everything – all these already make you a better parent.
And, after all, what does being a parenting expert mean? It is that person who wrote all those well-documented books, spoke to hundreds of parents about the relationship between them and their children, who has his own kids and knows what being a parent means. But regardless of how much information he managed to gather, you’re still the expert. Because it is not about how much information you can stockpile in your head, but what you do with it and how you use it for your child. No two kids are identical. And parents have choices concerning the way they raise their children. So, you are the real expert in the family. Nobody knows your child better than you do.
Your role is to listen, to read, to take advice, but, at the end of the day, you choose whatever you feel is right for you. Don’t compare your child to others. And don’t compare yourself to other parents. Focus on being patient, trust yourself and, most importantly, trust your child.
“Am I a good parent?” Yes, you are! You’re doing great even if you probably don’t hear that very often.
Photo source: Pixabay