Often when kids ask us for something, do something naughty or express themselves in an inappropriate way, we react impulsively, without thinking too much about the consequences our reaction can have in their minds. We don’t always think about how the communicaton with our child unfolds, so that we can control our behavior.

Here are some examples of common reactions of adults that you should avoid and replace them with a milder alternative of expressing yourself. And don’t be afraid of the possibility that if you are less harsh, your child will become spoiled. On the contrary, if he will feel that you are closer and more understanding, he will trust you more, will be honest and will have second thoughts about doing something that he knows you won’t like.

So, here are five examples of inappropriate parents answers with undesirable effects in the minds of the children.

What the parent says: “It’s too expensive”.

What the child hears: “Happiness cannot exist without money”.

What he can say instead: “There are a lot of interesting things for sale in this store, but we already have a lot of toys at home, so we won’t buy new ones right now”.

What the parent says: “Share your toys with others”.

What the child hears: “Give your toy to someone else”.

What he can say instead: “Paul would like to play for a bit with your car. Afterwards, he’ll give it back”.

What the parent says: “Think before you speak!”

What the child hears: “I don’t want to listen to you!”

What he can say instead: “I’m glad you came to talk to me, but I have to ask you something. I think this word is rude, so please don’t use it”.

What the parent says: “Don’t worry, everything will be alright.”

What the child hears: “You don’t have to get angry about every insignificant thing!”

What you can say instead: “I know it hasn’t been easy for you. Tell me what happened”.

What the parent says: “Why did you do that?” (He didn’t come home on time, he made his little sister cry, etc.)

What the child hears: “You behaved badly again”.

What he can say instead: “I think you came home late because you were having fun and you didn’t want to leave. Next time, try to come home on time”.